It has been 16 months since Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama announced they were running for president. They have debated 21 times. There have been 42 primaries and caucuses with almost 30,000,000 votes between them. There faces are on the front page of newspapers every morning and lead the nightly news broadcasts every night. If you are in an upcoming primary state their mail, radio ads, and television spots bombard you from all angles that it is impossible to ignore. Yet for some reason, a couple hundred superdelegates can’t figure out who they are voting for. Now, some cannot reveal their position because they hold state chairmanships, or in Nancy Pelosi’s case, the chairmanship of the Democratic Convention, but for the rest of them, I ask: what exactly is holding you back besides being a giant pussy?

Are you waiting to see who wins the pledged delegate count? Obama has already won. Clinton would need 80% of the remaining unpledged delegates in the remaining primaries, a absolute impossibility as long as Obama’s name is on the ballot

Are you waiting to see who won the popular vote? That’s over too. Although popular vote totals are ABSOLUTELY IRRELEVANT, Obama is up 500,000 votes and is favored to win be double digits in North Carolina, by far the biggest state left

Exactly how much more of these candidates do you have to see to know what you are getting? Maybe you are scared you will may make the wrong choice and something can happen tomorrow that will change your minds. Well, superdelegates are not bound by their decisions, if they come out for Obama today, they can just as easily switch to Clinton tomorrow. But after all the scrutiny these two have been under for months, what are the actual chances of that?

Here are some other arguments put forth in an LA Times article about the superdelegates’ supposedly “tough” decision:

….many superdelegates preferred their place on the fence, content to watch as the race plays out. “I feel no compulsion whatsoever to cast my vote until the convention, but I may make a determination following the primaries,” said Nancy Worley, vice chairwoman of the Alabama Democratic Party.

So you don’t really care that they are running relentless negative ads against the other in hopes of running up each other’s negatives, not to mention spending all their money on fighting among themselves, giving John McCain a free ride for two months?

Larry Gates, the Kansas state chairman, said he too was content to wait, knowing any decision he makes is bound to tick off somebody. “I like them both,” he said of Clinton and Obama. “Always have.”

So we are trying to elect the leader of the free world and you are worried about hurting someone’s feelings?

“I’m not buying the Clinton argument that Sen. Obama is unelectable, but I certainly intend to continue to watch his performance to make my own determination of just how strong a candidate he will be,” said R. Keith Roark, chairman of the Idaho Democratic Party.Roark is among those who are less than pleased that Clinton might carry her fight to the convention, suggesting that superdelegates will have all the information they need to make a decision soon after June 3.

If you still can’t figure out who you think is best, you really are not even qualified to be a superdelegate. You sound like one of those idiot voters from Pennsylvania who claim they were “undecided” after six weeks, even after being saturated with election coverage twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and claimed they were going to decide “in the voting booth.” They should barely be allowed to vote, yet you’re a professional politician whose job it is to follow these things closely, and you can’t even decide? How embarrassing.

Trevor Timm is a Blast Magazine staff writer