Aug. 16, 2008
Written by Phoenix native Stephenie Meyer, the popularity of the young-adult series comprised of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and the newly-released Breaking Dawn has reached critical mass. With a Twilight film adaptation coming to theaters this winter and an opening day’s sales of 1.3 million books for her latest installment, Meyer can be left with no doubt of her success. From a first-time novelist to a mainstay on the best sellers list, she has risen through the ranks like a veritable juggernaut.
But why? To figure out why the books were inspiring legions of fans and a dozen fan-sites (including the recently hacked Twilight Lexicon), I read the books myself to see what’s what.
To put it simply, dear reader, I was horrified. Not just by the sickeningly purple prose or the lack of general writing quality, but the books themselves are insulting on every level-as a woman, as a teenager, as a literature student, and as a graduate of the Harry Potter craze. What’s worse is that so few seem to realize it.
Twilight is the story of the so-called “average” new girl Bella Swan (Ha, ha, get it? Beautiful Swan?), who finds herself as the object of not one, not two, but a total of five boys’ romantic designs (because she’s so “plain”, see?). The most important of these is the mysterious, hilariously-Byronic Edward Cullen. Bella plays the pitiful damsel in distress a few times and after 200 pages of thinly written suspense, we learn that Edward is in fact a vampire. Never fear, though, because Bella’s “Adonis-like” admirer is no Nosferatu. Instead, he and his vampire family are so-called “vegetarian” vampires, feeding off of animals instead of humans and inexplicably attending high school (during lunch periods they buy trays of food and stare at each other so that Bella can conveniently get a glimpse of Edward from across the cafeteria). The first novel deals with Bella and Edward’s romance and is capped off by a hastily tacked-on plot designed to shove Bella into the damsel in distress role yet again so that her vampire lover can save her.
Okay, you’re saying. It’s a little cheesy. But why is that so bad?
First and foremost, the books present a female heroine who can hardly take a step without needing some boy to rescue her. In fact, the books represent sexist views in almost every way-from the fact that Bella gives up her ambitions and plans for college to get married to Edward, the fact that she is portrayed as a modern Eve, begging the noble, moral gentleman for sex while he desires to preserve their virtue, the fact that their relationship is dangerously unhealthy, and finally to the fact that nearly every single female character in the book is a hopelessly negative caricature.
The series does not improve with subsequent books, either. In New Moon, Bella enters a self-described “zombie” state when Edward leaves her. In fact, the author oh-so-cleverly inserts blank pages with the months’ names as a poorly conceived plot device for showing the depths of her heroine’s pain and also to avoid having to write the “hard stuff.” Bella turns near-suicidal; she purposely puts herself in harm’s way-going so far as to jump off a cliff-to hear her lover’s imagined voice in her head.
What does this say to readers, bearing in mind that the target audience is the tragically impressionable 12-17 year old girls? That they should fall apart at the seams for months if their boyfriend leaves them? That reckless self-endangerment is okay, so long as it’s to be close to your lover? What a lovely message to send to young women.
The sole bright spot of New Moon is the lovable Jacob Black, a member of the nearby La Push reservation and newly-turned werewolf. It is in Bella’s scenes with Jacob that readers see a glimpse of actual personality, and the burgeoning romance is certainly much more true to real-life teen romances than the lofty ideals of the star cross’d lovers Edward and Bella. But add another half-forgotten plot into the mix and Edward and Bella are reunited, with Jacob left by the wayside like a kicked puppy. Pun intended.
Eclipse. It is in this tome that Edward and Bella’s relationship takes a decidedly worse turn. Edward goes so far as to remove Bella’s engine from her car to prevent her from seeing her friend, Jacob, and even has his vampire ‘sister’ kidnap her from a weekend. Bella is a little peeved at this, sure, but she writes off Edward’s atrocious behavior with the terrifying “he’s just a little overprotective” and “he does it because he loves me”. Reader, I actually felt a little sick while reading this, despite these so-called good intentions (they’re always leading to hell, remember). Not only does Meyer give her two characters an obviously unhealthy-even abusive-relationship, but she romanticizes and idealizes it, and not only with Bella and Edward, but with Bella and Jacob as well.
Jacob, in fact, gets a bizarre personality transplant (lycanthropic dissociative identity disorder, maybe?) and turns into a real asshole in this book. He actually forcibly kisses Bella-twice-while ignoring her protests and actually threatens suicide should Bella refuse him. But not once does the thought of abuse, sexism, or inequality even occur to her main character! In fact, halfway through Jacob’s forced kiss (sexual assault, mind you) Bella actually decides that she’s in love with him. What is this??
I threw down my copy of Eclipse in disgust and I was ready to forget that the books existed until the Twilight-mania began anew in the lead-up to August 2nd’s release of Breaking Dawn. I can write this article just having read the first three, I told myself. In the end, though, partly due to morbid curiosity and partly a result of wildly irrational hope that somehow Meyer would redeem herself, I gave in.
I was wrong. In Breaking Dawn, Meyer gives us an honestly bewildering and at times horrifying close to the series. The several hundred pages are filled with sickly-sweet self-indulgence and a blatant dismissal of continuity and realism. In brief, Bella and Edward get horizontal at long last (but only after they’re married, of course-we can’t have the naughty temptress taking away Edward’s 107 year-old virginity) and Bella somehow gets pregnant. Please, Meyer says, never mind the fact that all the vampires’ body fluids are replaced with their ‘venom’ or that sperm dies after three days, much less a century. Even more fantastically, the vampire/human spawn grows at an alarming rate, so fast in fact that Bella feels it “nudging” her at approximately two weeks of gestation. Now, I’ve never been pregnant but I did take health class back in high school and I’m pretty sure that there’s something wrong with that picture.
I’ll spare you the details of the rest of this horror show. Trust me, the birthing scene is something I desperately wish I could un-see (after the loosely-called ‘baby’ breaks Bella’s pelvis, spine, and ribs from the inside, Edward ends up clawing his way to a surely-unsanitary vampire version of a Caesarian section using his teeth). I’m sorry. I had to share my pain. Bella becomes a super-special vampire with super-special powers and she wins the not-conflict of the not-climax. And don’t forget her nifty ability to go hunting in a forest in a cocktail dress and heels.
Thankfully, the ‘Twilight’ series is over. Not as great is the fact that millions of girls are reading this sexist tripe without a care in the world, obsessing over the “perfect” Edward Cullen and the “hot” Jacob Black, pretending to be Bella Swan and ignoring the unhealthiness of the relationship just as successfully as the character does. What happened that two hundred years after feminist hero Elizabeth Bennet is put down on the page, we get one of the most awful excuses for a female literary hero that I’ve ever seen?
So frankly, excuse me if I bow out of the Twilight mania. I’m going to go sink my teeth into Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Woman and pretend that Stephenie Meyer’s terrible series did not set gender equality back two hundred years in the minds of millions.
Read my follow-up to this piece, entitled Twilight: A Follow-Up, and a Promise!
Read my review of the movie!
Follow Kellen on Twitter!
sombraSilian—
I have read the books, and Edward Cullen is not “super romantic, loving and wonderful”; he is a condescending, controlling, psychotic stalker. This is not romantic and it is horrifying that a generation of girls are being taught that it is. It isn’t that Twilight is stylistically a disgrace to literature, it’s that it’s dangerous, and it is not good for anyone to believe that a relationship like Edward and Bella’s is one we should aspire to.
Why would we be jealous of Stephenie Meyer? If this was a jealousy thing, why wouldn’t we target the far more successful J.K. Rowling? The storyline in Twilight is just as terrible as everything else; it’s Bella and Edward gazing at each other and pretending that their superficial obsession with each other is love, with supporting characters thrown in for the sole purpose of illustrating how special they both are and a few wildly inconsistent “plot” details that Meyer tacked on when she realised that NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED throughout the whole of her books. Twilight haters aren’t jealous. They think Twilight is a godawful series. Deal with it.
And no, thankfully, there are quite a lot of sane teenagers who are not envious of a whiny, dependent, idiotic doormat who falls for men who emotionally abuse her.
Finally, you clearly don’t have the slightest idea what the word “hypocrites” means, since you haven’t used it in the correct context once. I’d suggest you leave words you don’t understand well alone—Stephenie Meyer certainly should have done.
TWILIGHT DOES NOT SUCK! IT ROCKS! SUCK THAT!
This was fantastic. The sexism was the first thing that came into my mind when I began to read the book. Also, have you noticed how even the humor, not just the romance, is cheesy? Or is that just so inevitable for a novel of this caliber that you didn’t want to waste time explaining? Haha! You’re an amazing critic. I can’t wait to hear more from you.
all i can say is wow!! 2 kellen and 2 all d rest of u against twiligth .ya’ll r truly amazin
ok so i may not be a twihard but i’m not a ‘twi-hater’ either. i am in my late teens and i happen to like d series. i like it alot actually. really and truly i dont c anything wrong wit it…i read it, enjoyed it and continued wit my life as normal. i like edward but now i dont automatically wish my bf was like him…he’s quite d opposite actually lol and i love him jus d same. really ppl i dont think young girls who read this stuff suddenly think that every boy must b like d perfect edward for them 2 date or like…come on…give them more credit than that.these girls r young and immature…they’re having fun wit it so let them…not because they put up something sayin ‘edward raises d standards 4 all future bfs’ mean they live by that rule and expect real boys 2 b like edward. they want something 2 obsess over, ok. d bk is romantic, edward is ideal…they like that.like they say-braincandy. they’ll get over it so focus on some other more important world issues ppl not over a group of girls who’ll grow out of it in a few yrs.plz.ur wasting ur time. A generation of girls is not lost because of twilight…not even stephanie meyer has that power.
another thing…this feminist sexism thing thats comin out of d bk proves that u ‘educated’ ppl truly want something 2 talk about. seriously? if thats wat u get when u read twilight ur sad. bella cooking 4 her father, playing d damsel in ‘distress’, kellen:’can barely take 2 steps without needin a male to rescue her’??! THATS sickenin. like someone said in a comment b4 u ppl modify d definition of sexism and feminism by tryin 2 project wat u want 4 all girls and women onto them. u defeat d purpose and carryin us back to that place where we cant make a choice of our own without us being ‘disempowered’ if d choice doesnt suit ur fancy. edward is overprotective…that proves that he and d relationship isnt perfect so u contradict urselves…no relationship in real life is perfect…and o yes i forgot…’she all but craps her pants at d thought that edward would find out’. if a man had said ‘now she’ll kill me if she found out’ it’d b a-ok but if a girl says ‘ooooh!! he’s gonna b so mad!!’ she’s oppressed and emotionally abused!??? try helpin women who feel trapped in real abusive situations rather than bashin on an innocent fictional bk…o and while ur at it…do get a life.
Twilight Neutral
But sickened by all d senseless bashin
reallyppl???? —
Wow, well, that was barely coherent. Extreme text talk is always a great way to convince people to take you seriously; well done.
Honestly, your post isn’t neutral; it’s an example of yet another fan missing the point. Edward is not an unattainable ideal. He is everywhere in real life, in the form of stalkers, emotional abusers and psychopaths. How you can actually read comments like “Edward has raised the standards for boyfriends” and *still* not believe that this series is having a hand in shaping young girls’ ideas of romance is beyond me. Are you in denial, or just not very bright?
I don’t know what the hell *your* idea of sexism and feminism is but I can assure you that it isn’t Twilight haters who are modifying it. Bella doesn’t make choices. Edward makes them for her. She doesn’t want to drive home with him? Tough, he wants her to and he’ll drag her to his car if she tries to escape. She doesn’t want to apply to a certain university? Fine, he’ll forge her signature on the application. She wants to see her best friend? It’s not happening unless Edward wants that, and if she doesn’t like it, he’ll disable her car and have his sister keep her under house arrest. She’s said she doesn’t want to go somewhere? Okay, then he’ll go over her head and get her dad involved so she has no choice but to go. And she’ll never oppose any of this, because he’s always got her best interests at heart, just like both abusers and those who are abused claim in real life. There’s no modification or projection on our part going on at all; this stuff is all right there, being frighteningly obvious.
At what point in my comment about Bella’s fear of Edward’s reaction to her seeing Jacob did I say that it would be okay if it was a man who was scared of a woman in this situation? Bella, upon seeing Edward’s car behind her (you know, in the scene where he tailgates her all the way to Angela’s house for no other reason than to intimidate her and make sure he knows *exactly* where she is, ever the expression of true love), is genuinely terrified of Edward’s reaction to her doing something completely innocent and reasonable. Never does she think “How dare he treat me this way?” She describes herself as “chicken”, too afraid to “face” him, and on her way to see him she describes herself as “jumpy”, “anxious”, “nervous”, as though *she’s* the one in the wrong even though she is SEEING. HER. BEST. FRIEND. and Edward has absolutely *no* right to stop her doing this. It’s a scene that clearly illustrates the level of control Edward has over her. It would be as much of a problem if their roles were reversed. It’s still abuse and control no matter whether the man or the woman is in the position of power. Only at no point in the Twilight series is Bella the one with the power. She’s the archetypal submissive little woman the entire way through.
Women in real abusive situations? Like, women who are being stalked? Women whose partners stop them seeing their friends? Women whose partners mess with their heads? Whose partners belittle them? Women in relationships with people like Edward? Hey, how about we try to stop more women getting into this situation by opposing something that insists that these things are romantic? Or, in conclusion: yes, really.
ESTÁ BEM, não vou ficar discutindo com esse tipo de pessoa, metida a superior ao resto do mundo . parece que você não lê as coisas direito . e aproposito, sou uma psicologa formada, trabalho a 10 anos nessa área e bom, gosto muito de twilight . não soa exatamente como você o descreveu aqui, hannah . tenho duas filhas adolescentes . CREPÚSCULO NUNCA INFLUENCIOU ELAS DE UMA FORMA RUIM .
ah, e edward não é um cara romantico ? pode não ser pra você que já é velha e não sente mais o “tesão” da paixão de quando se é jovem . se você leu atentamente e sabe tanto assim sobre crepúsculo “dona hannah metida a superior”, você sabe que uma das falas mais conhecidas do livro e do filme é quando edward diz para bella: você é minha vida agora, bella .
isso, faz qualquer teenager “pirar” .
mas não vou discutir .
porque TODO MUNDO tem que ler livros que tenha realmente um conteudo (não que twilight não tenha) culturistico, ou que seja escrito por grandes autores .
mas, não podemos ler nada que desafie a imaginação (isso foi ironico) .
OK does not I’ll be arguing with such people, stuck-up than the rest of the world. seems you do not read things right. and aproposito, I am a psychologist trained, working 10 years in this area and good, I like twilight. does not sound exactly as you described here, hannah. I have two teenage daughters. THEY NEVER INFLUENCED TWILIGHT OF A BAD WAY.
oh, and edward is not a romantic guy? may not be for you that is old and no longer feel “horny” the passion when you’re young. if you read carefully and know so much about Twilight “hannah housewife stuck-up than, you know that one of the most famous speeches of the book and the movie is when edward tells bella: you are my life now, bella.
it makes any teenager “go crazy”.
but I will not discuss.
because everyone has to read books that really has a content (not that twilight has not) culturist, or is written by great authors.
but we can not read anything that challenges the imagination (that was ironic).
To be blunt twilght sucks tommy lee’s balls. The book has no redeaming value other than wating hours reading the millions of pages of a less than mediocre novel. stephanie meyer is a complete failure at writing. I am in the eighth grade and I have written better essays for social studies class than this failure. I’m not great but I know a million people who can write a story just as terrible as her’s. The next problem is that rob pattinson is a douchebag. He tries to act all modest and calm but he is just making himself look like an even bigger dick that before he opened his stupid mouth!!! And does anyone else think that what those two have is a healthy relationship?! It is telling people my age that you can attempt suicide just because you want to be with someone who watches you sleep! ALL NIGHT!!!!! And what is all this crap that twilight has outsold harry potter? IT IS WRONG AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT ARE THESE BATSH*T CRAZY FANS!!!!! The fans are friggin’ maniacs on crack. Its pretty dang sad when anyone with a computer and more ideas than common sense or writing ablility can slap together what they call a novel! Who should I be more mad at? stephanie meyer? rob patinson? the people who published the book? the batsh*t crazy fans on crack? I am so fuming I don’t even know who to be more mad at!!! Also “EDWARD” IS A RAPIST!!! One more thing before I go if you’re wondering why I dind’t capitalize edward, stephanie meyer, rob patinson, or twilight it is because they are such a failure that they don’t deserve to have their names/ tiles properly cpitalized!! I do not respect them enough to do so. The bottom line? twilight sucks. Plain and simple. It will end up being like titanic. It will earn a lot of money, be forgot about, and then years later tennage girls will say, “oh my god. I can’t believe I used to like that.” If you are a twilight fan I am glad you took the time to read this and possibly get a wake up call.
somebraSilian—
I don’t see why you being a psychologist is even the slightest bit relevant. Although, at what point in the psychologist’s training you expect me to believe you had were you taught that an ad hominem attack is an effective way to persuade people round to your way of thinking? Because, you know… it isn’t.
I didn’t “read it right”, huh? Let’s see: Edward follows Bella without her knowledge, climbs into her room to watch her sleep, leaves her near-suicidal after telling her he doesn’t love her anymore, blames *her* for the consequences because she believed him, forbids her from seeing her friend, disables her car, keeps her under house arrest, messes with her head by alternately telling her that she should stay away from him and that she can’t survive without his protection, wants to forcibly abort her baby and offers her to Jacob to have sex with without her knowledge or permission. These things all happen. These things are all abusive. These things are all portrayed as romantic in the books. Therefore, the books portray abusive behaviour as romantic. There’s really not much to get wrong there.
I’m eighteen. I’m younger than you if your story about being a trained psychologist is correct. It probably isn’t, since your post is more in line with the comments of thirteen-year-old Twitards who aren’t able to logically defend these books and have to resort to petty insults, but that doesn’t change the fact that your assessment of me is dramatically wrong. “Housewife”? “Stuck-up?” Please. There’s nothing that indicates that these things are true of me in my comments. I’m a teenage girl who appreciates competently written books which promote healthy messages, and who actually doesn’t go crazy for a guy who is such an obsessive, dependent loser that he has no life whatsoever outside me. “Housewife” and “Stuck-up” aptly describe Bella Swan, though, and the suggestion that she and Edward are remotely passionate or “horny” is hilarious. It’s the most boringly chaste and cold (pun intended) relationship I’ve ever read about.
And oh, look at how you’ve contradicted yourself—teenage girls aren’t influenced by Twilight (because, if you even have two teenage daughters, of course they must be representative of *all* teens) and yet they all go crazy for Edward? On the one hand you’re trying to tell me I’m wrong to believe that people will fall for Edward Cullen; on the other hand you’re suggesting I’m strange for *not* falling for him. Do you see how that doesn’t work at all?
Are you seriously suggesting that Twilight challenges the imagination? Just… read a good book. Please.
There are young people in the world consuming media involving violence, racism, gun crime etc. and these people go out and commit crimes because of what they have watched on tv or read in a book. That is what is important, that is what we need to be worrying about. There are always going to be a group of obsessive people who choose to create these ridiculous ideas just to be different, but Twilight is a fictional book and fans know this. Think about it, if twilight fans see Edward Cullen as charming, sweet and aspire to be in a relationship with someone like this they aren’t going to go out with someone controlling and aggressive because of the book are they! You’re pathetic, really, you are
katie—
“There are young people in the world consuming media involving violence, racism, gun crime etc. and these people go out and commit crimes because of what they have watched on tv or read in a book. That is what is important, that is what we need to be worrying about.”
There are a whole range of issues with this statement. First, the implication that anywhere near as many people are going out and committing gun crime because they read a book in which the protagonist shot someone as there are people who think that Edward Cullen is a romantic ideal is ludicrous. Second, you highlight “racism” as an important issue… but sexism isn’t? You brush off sexism in mainstream media as a “ridiculous” idea “created” by “obsessive” people in order to “be different”. Um, what? Racism and sexism are as bad as each other. Third, if you can find a piece of mainstream media which explicitly promotes violence or racism that hasn’t caused uproar, let us know. I don’t think you’ll find that you can. We have a mainstream piece of media right here which explicitly promotes abusive behaviour in relationships—and you don’t think that’s a problem? Of course it is.
“Think about it, if twilight fans see Edward Cullen as charming, sweet and aspire to be in a relationship with someone like this they aren’t going to go out with someone controlling and aggressive because of the book are they!”
I’m going to have to juggle my list of least logical defences of the Twilight series ever about a bit. I mean, really, this makes no sense AT ALL. If Twilight presents controlling and aggressive behaviour as charming and sweet, which it does, and fans believe that it is charming and sweet and aspire to be in a relationship with someone like that, which they do, then they are aspiring to be in a relationship with someone who is aggressive and controlling, and yes, it’s because of the book. That you think it’s “pathetic” that this worries people is worrying in itself.
I feel truly sorry for the people who think this is a good example. And for you, Silian. If you don’t care about other people, you will die old and alone.:D And even if you don’t, there will be a place for you. . . I personally am not a fan. I started reading the series, but had to stop so that I could return the books to my friend in one piece. It is all fake love!!!! Even those of you who don’t believe what I do, listen to this. “Love is responsibility.” –Pope JP2 I truly believe this. If you love someone, are you going to let them do things that will get them hurt? Of course not!! Go ahead and try to make me sound bad, but you’re only going to make the argument turn against you. Ciao!
P.S. Bram is SO better than Steph.
Dude, all our past comments have been deleted! A shame, our debates were pretty good. The old gang were really funny too. All the anti-Twilight veterans are sort of over it now, though we’re all still fighting the good fight.
BEST. ARTICLE. EVER.
Marry me?! You have eloquently said what I have been trying to explain to my friends for months. THANK YOU.
I enjoyed this article because it answered some of my questions about why this series is popular. I especially loved the comment section. Why read Twilight when you can read through a heated discussion about why Twilight sucks. *shrugs* Perhaps thats a pleasure of a different kind though.
My heart/mind goes out to the angry feminist who are angry about sexism. To them I would pose that for the majority, sexism is not so much taught as it is natural. If you have a mind, male and female alike: ours is a different kind of people, we are separate from the lot animalistic lunacy we see in others. To what group of people are you posting your arguments? Those that can understand already know, while those that don’t could never appreciate your articulate thoughts. Of course I mean your ability to reason, not your facts as that is what I visited this site for.
*drowsy* I wanted to offer my words of comfort to the women who are fighting against sexism. I think the whole thing is beyond help, so try and understand that it’s not women like you who are the majority. The same is true for men like myself. I think we have political problems because of great gaps of intelligence between people, groups of people, cultures, and the like.
I used to think that I hated women, but I’m beginning to realize that what I hate are idiots pretending to have important knowledge who go on to change culture to represent their ideas. I love intelligence and I value it in any race, culture, and gender.
I’m not speaking of the IQ test seeing that I tend to score poorly on those(well the ones offered online at least). I am speaking about the ability of a person to understand, communicate, solve problems, and be reasonable while being responsible.
Yeah, Twilight isn’t your biggest threat, it’s the people that love it who we all should worry about.
MEEEEEE—
“If you love someone, are you going to let them do things that will get them hurt?”
The sad thing is, this is what a lot of Twilight fans say Edward does for Bella. Only Edward’s “protection” of Bella means denying her of any independence whatsoever.
Rafal H—
Your previous comments are easily accessible by pressing the “Older comments” button and changing the page number in the web address to get back to the beginning, and also, are you aware that your talk of “the old gang” and “anti-Twilight veterans” who are “over” it makes you sound elitist at best and kind of a douche at worst?
Hobo with a beer bottle—
Liking Twilight does not automatically mean you are void of intelligence. I admit my reaction to “I like Twilight” tends to be “I’m not sure I know how to talk to you”, but that’s not because I think they’re stupid. The people going “OMG HDU TWILITE DOESNT SUCK U DO & U R JELUS DAT U CUDNT RITE SUCH LITARY GENIOUS & YOUR DA RESON DA WORLDS SUCH A BAD PLACE!!11one!1″ obviously are going to have their intelligence seriously called into question, but there are plenty of fans who aren’t like that, and plenty who, contrary to your point about making people see our view, are reading articles like this and going “Oh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about it like that.” Even the ones who read stuff like this and continue to defend the series aren’t necessarily unintelligent. I think people who try to justify Edward and Bella’s relationship are absolutely 100% incorrect. I also think that people who believe in God are incorrect, but I don’t automatically believe all theists are unintelligent because their version of the truth of an issue is radically different to mine.
Even if they are the illiterate, intolerant, omg-u-suck fans, the series obviously came before they developed that attitude. Frankly, I couldn’t give a toss about people liking stylistically crappy books, but these books teach that something very dangerous and more importantly very real is a good thing, and people are listening. No one, regardless of intellect, should end up with a controlling man because a book they absolutely adore has convinced them that this is romantic. That’s why I’ll continue to complain about it until the hype goes away.
I see your point.
Although, Edward is an emo flip-flopper from what I’ve read of the series. ;D
AFF, ENTÃO QUE SE FODAM .
Everything is explained. HAHAHA, a Teenage Drama Queen. OH GOD, HOW TO MAKE ME LAUGH.
bye .
I have honestly read the entire series. It made me sick. Yes, Twitards, it sickened me. I was utterly appalled by the open displays of sexism and unoriginality. I am twelve years old and I have written three books, none of which are published because I don’t want a cult following my writing. My three books are not a series, they all deal with different characters and plot lines. One is called Willow Way, another is Kip the Color-Changing Kitten, the final is called Raise the Dead. I have portrayed sexism in ONE of my characters, who is dubbed “The Master”, just to make it clear how different he is from the other characters. I was inspired to become an author by my great love of HARRY POTTER. I never, ever want to read SMeyer’s bag of sh*t again, I burned my copies. Worst 50 bucks I ever spent.
Again, praying for ya, Silian.
Owwww, you hurt meeeee. . . Give me a break, can’t you come up with anything more insulting? Really, at least try. Edward is a vampiric sequin.
That’s my new favorite thing to say.
WOW…seriously?? The novels are FICTION. Reading them is not going to make you smarter (thats for sure) but it’s a lot better than drinking, drugs, watching tv, gaming, internet, sex, porn, etc. What’s wrong with having an imagination and getting people to read something (besides gossip magazines and crap on the internet). I was surprised that I was even stimulated by the novels, but now I remember what it’s like to actually dream once in awhile. It’s amazing what that can do for your mental state of mind, even if it is over a stupid book. So, thank you to Stephanie Meyers for having an imagination and keeping it simple so people can fill in the blanks themselves. There are worse things in life and I’m just glad to see young (and old) people passionate about something that actually involved reading (and the use of their brain). Many people are suffering in their lives with issues much worse than those that you speak of that (are supposedly) in the book. If you ask me, it is what you make of it. Give people a little bit of credit!! Obviously there are NO vampires, people know that it’s not a real story. They understand that the feelings that the characters have are a result of them being “vampire” or “wolf” not human. So that obviously sets those feelings apart from “real life” feelings. People that DO think it’s real…well it’s just a symptom of their problem (NOT the cause). Come on! There are worse things in life! If people want to get passionate about FICTION vampire books, good for them. They are reading for these books for fun, not to gain some sort of grasp on life or love. (Let those girls try to find something in real life similar to the books…not going to happen.)
The character “Edward” seems possessive if you take it out of the context of the book. But, here’s the thing…there are a lot of characters that when taken out of the context of a FICTIONAL story, would look different to you. Do I need to give examples…I mean that is the whole point of the story. So, if you really want to talk about real life, then you have to ask yourself, if someone was trying to kill you, wouldn’t you want your boyfriend to be a little more protective of you? I mean…its just silly how insignificant these debates are about sexism and abuse. You can’t take a fictional story, pick it apart, and then try to compare it to real life. Lets say you were driving drunk (putting yourself in danger), would you be THAT upset if someone you loved was following you home that night? if you are trying to make a valid point (or argument), it needs to be relevant to the subject of discussion. You can’t make something out of nothing, and you definitely can’t sound smart when you are trying to compare a fictional story to real life. Both extremes of Twi-hards and Twi-haters (or whatever they are called) are disturbing. You are both walking the same line, just on different sides. Totally crazy. Just think about it. You are just as passionate as they are, only your passion stems from hatred and fear. Good luck with that.
Though I agree with the basic premise, as well as the overall criticism, I do take issue with one portion of this piece.
Fuck Elizabeth Bennett and any of Jane Austen’s other heroines. Goddamn, I really hate Austen.
hey i ove some of you guys….. and yeahh twilight realy sucks…
meyers has no idea of what she was writting about…
while writting this shit ,she messed up coke ( the drink).. with the white substance….
burn that fucking book or use it to feed the pigs
reallyppl????
Your response and it’s styling is most peoples inherent problem with this book. Stating Meyer is a “good” writer begets crap like your response, you’re in school, and if you’re half as smart as you seem to think you are learn to write!
I read this article out of curiosity, and I actually enjoyed reading it than Twilight. And to be honest, I didn’t read the whole series, and didn’t even get to finish the first book either. So I guess I don’t have the right to judge the book fully, but I do have some insights with regards to the chapters that I was able to read, so I’ll just focus on that.
Personally, I hate the way Stephenie Meyer wrote it. All I read was Edward this and Edward that. Obviously, Bella’s world revolves around him. It’s so idealistic by the fact that such man exists. Even if you say it’s fiction, still I’d prefer something that invokes a similar feel with reality. It’s way dragging. That’s one word that perfectly describes the book. Maybe that’s why I got sick and tired of reading the entire book. I just don’t want a character that dwells upon a guy so “perfect”. Of course as a human, I too have ideals, but I’m not that idealistic either. I’d rather be in between idealistic and realistic. The book is not even near the Harry Potter series, and I’ve read the entire seven books of J.K. Rowling! Yes, it’s pure fantasy, and yes the protagonist there was a bit annoying sometimes, but the humor, the action, and the plot were written exquisitely that there’s no way that the value of Twilight can be compared with the value of Harry Potter.
Furthermore, I’d rather play video games than read the entire Twilight series. Some video games (like the Final Fantasy series!) possess far more brilliant storylines than this book. Such video games have even more depth than Twilight, believe me! (And don’t argue with me by saying that there’s a problem with gaming with regards to violence because I’m not pertaining to those games at all.) Oh and even better, I’d rather read technical articles about evolutionary programming algorithms than waste time reading Twilight; I’d get more from those paraphernalia than with Twilight.
One thing I did get from Twilight though: more vocabulary. It could help others expand their vocabulary (though one could get that from other books as well).
The thing that really showcases how horrible Stephanie Meyer’s writing is the vampire birth scene. A baby is being chewed out of a girl’s womb, and yet, somehow, Stephanie Meyer made it BORING! It’s literally just “Oh. He used his teeth to cut through her newly indestructable skin. Good thinking Edward! Boy, that baby sure is cute.”
Twilight fans: You have are total hipocrites if you think Twillight is a good romance book when you haven’t even heard about Jane Austin
Thank you Kellen, for this article.
Oh, I liked the books. But while I read them I changed some scenes in my mind, so they could look more appealing. For exemple, a boyfriend who hates to kiss his girlfriend is surely homossexual or “affectionphobic”, so I just imagined them making out like a real couple. Vampires do have canines, thank you. And then I started to ignore some miserable facts, such as: Bella’s submission. How Edward couldn’t get tired of proving Bella his -obsessive- love. The whole sparkling thing. The fact that Bella completely forgot about the existance of her mother ( I just think that one email per month is not enough). And a few other things.
And so I bought Breaking Dawn. They would finally have sex, woohoo! But no. She did not described it. For God’s sake. I’ve waited three damn books and nothing? Ok, the after sex think was kind of fun. But really, no comments. So I kept on reading the book. It had no action at all, (and then came one more thing I ignored: how could she be pregnant if he was a vampire? Details, details.) but I had to finish the reading. The baby came, it’s name was specially tacky but it was kind of cute. And after a million pages what do I find? Action! Yey! Or at least the beginning of it. Fine, they had to fight, but Bella didn’t know how to do it, so she asked Edward to help her. That was when I stopped reading for good. I couldn’t ignore it one more time. It was the worst and the most ridiculous scene for me. Edward’s obcessive protection was too much for me to handle it. He refused to teach her because he “couldn’t see her as an enemy”. Go fuck yourself, please.
I’m a teen brazilian girl, and that’s why I couldn’t love twilight: I’m a girl, not a slave.
I loved your review, it put into words exactly what I thought when I read the books. I am glad I downloaded the books instead of buying them, it read even worse than a 14-year-old delusional wannabe Goth’s livejournal entry. I’m all for everyone being entitled to their own opinions, but I have to say, I am a bit disturbed as to why so many girls (and judging from movie reviews in the papers, women waay out of their teens as well) are so in love with this book/movie. The books are not only badly written (I’ve read better work grading amateur compositions by children) but present a wholly disturbing and unhealthy view of relationships and love…Is that what women really want?
So, first of all.
Someone said that the books were targeted for the teenage audience. That is false. Meyer SPECIFICALLY states, many times, that she wrote the books FOR HER!!! In fact, there was never meant to be a publication of them.
Secondly, Meyer does have an English degree. However, she does not have a CREATIVE WRITING English degree, but in fact one in Literature. So calling in her educational background holds no ground for your argument. Just because a person has a degree in English does not mean that she or he can write.
Lastly, Cullenism is a cult. In the literal definition of the word – “a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.” So when people say that the fans of Twilight are members of cult’s one cannot really argue the issue. A religion is defined as “a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.” In NO WAY is worshipping a book a religion.
I am sorry if this sounds as if I am attacking the person who mentioned that it is a religion. I am not. I am merely stating that one cannot be upset when people refer to them as cult members; those such as Miley Cyrus. While I am not a fan of her (at all), I cannot argue her statement that Twilight fans are (some people) in a cult. They are brainwashed.
I am not sure the last thing made sense…
MEEEEEE—
It’s less “flip-flopper” and more “completely bipolar”, but in essence, yes, that’s about right!
SomebraSilian—
So… I can’t win either way, then? If I’m not a dried-up old maid who can’t remember the passion of my teenage years, then I must be a teenage drama queen, obviously lacking the maturity that comes with growing older? And both would be purely because I’m not a fan of Twilight? The fact that you’re incapable of producing an actual logical argument is really nothing to laugh about.
Tracy—
Give me a high quality television programme, of which there are many, over a poorly written book which promotes a shallow and unhealthy ideology any day. The only one of those that I think the Twilight series is automatically better than is drugs.
Twilight is completely unimaginative, and it’s a sign of bad writing when a reader has to “fill in the blanks”. If a story does not string together coherently and the characters are completely one-dimensional Mary Sues, that’s not cleverness on the part of the writer. It’s laziness.
And AGAIN, a Twilight fan missing the point. Read the following very carefully: NO ONE IS TRYING TO SAY THAT PEOPLE BELIEVE VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES ARE REAL. Are you honestly so naive that you think you can’t find *anything* from the Twilight books in real life? Yes, you can, in the form of stalkers and abusive partners. Those people are Edward. Those people often say they have or even believe they have exactly the same motivations as Edward. Edward’s behaviour does not magically not count as abusive just because you put in a vampire versus werewolf context. Edward thinks Jacob is dangerous so, despite the fact that Jacob has at that point given Edward absolutely no reason to believe he is a danger to Bella and Bella herself insists there is no problem, he prevents her from seeing him at all costs. It’s easy to find the real life parallel—a boyfriend doesn’t trust a friend of his girlfriend despite her knowing the friend far better and prevents her from seeing the friend even though she insists that she wants to. That’s not okay because he does not have the right to tell her what to do or isolate her from people she cares about, and neither does Edward. Bella’s her own person, and whether or not she sees Jacob is her decision to make. Either Edward is being controlling or he honestly believes Bella is not mentally competent, which puts a whole new sickening twist on their relationship.
The relationship we see in the Twilight series is absolutely comparable to real life relationships, only a real life Bella/Edward relationship would be one step away from being the reason that women’s shelters exist. It’s the very fact that it’s fiction that means Meyer can get away with insisting that such relationships are healthy and even ideal. Yeah, there are bigger problems in the world, but that doesn’t mean that abusive relationships aren’t a problem and that things which glorify them should be okay. Discussions of sexism and abuse are certainly not insignificant, and it’s frankly insulting that you suggest that they are.
As for your comment about driving drunk, you might want to heed your own words about making things relevant to the discussion. What on earth does driving drunk have to do with anything? Edward’s doesn’t follow Bella because she’s drunk; he’s following her either so that he knows exactly where she is or to let her know that he knows she’s disobeyed him—or, in other words, to intimidate her. Both of these things are abusive. There’s no running away from this fact.
?????—
The problem is that Edward’s not an unattainable ideal—if girls were moping about the fact that they couldn’t ever find their own Edward and there really was no chance that they’d ever find someone like him, I’d think “Grow up and get over it” and never think about it again. It’s the fact that there’s every chance that they could find their own Edward, and he’ll be far from the embodiment of perfection Meyer makes him out to be, that is so bloody terrifying.
I’d be really careful about gaining vocabulary from Twilight, too—Meyer clearly does not know the meanings of half the words she uses.
Emily—
As soon as someone takes steps to publish something they have written, it is no longer for them. Meyer may have written it “for herself”, but as soon as she knew it was going to be published for a young adult audience, she had an obligation to make it suitable for a young adult audience. That wouldn’t hold up anyway because she knew that the second, third and fourth book were going to be published before she wrote them.
I’ve just learned two very important things after reading trough this text and these comments:
1 – There’s a very long text in the internet who points the obvious fact that twilight series sucks. I guess it will come in handy when some fangirl ask me “why it sucks”, and I’m not really in the mod of cursing stuff.
2 – Psychologists make horrible literature critics. I never went to a psychologist in my life (always thought they were manipulative sons of a bitch), and now I’m proud of it.
I read the Twilight books and discovered -much to my horror- that to be a ‘lovely, wonderful and scintillatingly perfect boyfriend’, I had to stalk the person I love, watch them while they sleep without their knowledge, tell them how bad I am for them and how I desire their blood, glitter in the sun and run at the effing speed of light.
Or to be an ideal girlfriend, I had to be a beautiful, helpless, pathetic female that needs my boyfriend to walk me through life step-by-step even though I didn’t act like a mental retard before I met him.
Unfortunately, not every guy is a creepy ninja pedo, or can scale walls to gawk mindlessly at their girlfriend while she sleeps. And not all guys are really bad for your safety as a lot of them are more interested in protecting you, not endangering you then rescuing your swooning ass. And if your date wants your blood, go home. As for sparkling, you twilight fans simply cannot be serious. If your man is sparkling, he’s probably gay, wearing glitter which usually implies gayness or both. And running at the speed of light would not only cause a sonic boom, it would completely destroy your legs. Not to mention the G-force would splatter art you.Or be a beautiful, helpless, pathetic female that needs my boyfriend to walk me through life step-by-step even though I didn’t act like a mental retard before I met him
Not every girl is externally beautiful. We get what we get and if your girlfriend isn’t as ‘beautiful’ as shallow, pathetic Miss ‘Beautiful Swan’ get the fuck over it. Your girlfriend probably has a personality. If fact, she probably has the brains Swan-girl lacks, too.
Personally, I prefer girls that are tough, smart and actually a challenge, not necessarily the prettiest but definitely the coolest. Therefore Bella was the biggest turn-off ever for me. She’s the exact opposite of what I like, she was putty in Edwards hands from the very start. Bella shows little commonsense and even less personality. For the entire book, I was looking for some clue that this girl wasn’t a vegetable. And I failed miserably. I continued to try and read the next two before I realized I just couldn’t bring myself to search anymore. I didn’t read the final book but heard of the impossibly conceived spawn and Edward and Bella’s ‘kinky’ violent sex and decided my mind had saved me some trauma and loss of brain cells.
And honestly, Jacob was half-decent until Eclipse, then in her latest book turned him into a freaking pedo like Sparkles. Ludicrous, really.
So really, Stephanie Meyers painted an unfair stereotype for every twilight fan’s boyfriend/girlfriend to live up to and I can only be thankful that my friends have the commonsense these terrifyingly abundant fangirls seem to lack in copious amounts.
Kelly, even though I LOVE your review and your are right on the money on almost everything except for one little thing. Honey, this novel is not about a vampire or a damsel in distress. In fact, how can something so simple be so overcomplicated for you to analyze? Read between the lines. This novel is so popular and will remain so popular due to one thing and one thing alone: SEX. It is about sexual tension. When we read it, we are not thinking: will he eat her (and I mean will he suck her blood here
That is not the question! We know he will not kill her. The question is: when and how will he do her? We know he will, we just do not know when. The whole series reads like a teenage porn. Think about it: 800 something pages of foreplay. He touched her lips, she looked away, he kissed her, then pulled back… Sorry, I cannot write anymore – I need to go hunting for some pumas before I can continue otherwise I will start screaming: “Bite me, Edward!”. By the way, Robert Pattinson is SO HOT – I would not mind… okay, I need more than a couple of pumas. An elephant, perhaps? Anyway, here is the deal: an erotic fantasy of a middle-aged woman are written out. He is not abusive. He is every girl (or almost every girl) erotic fantasy. And if you have never fantasized about being … by the strong, smart and handsome guy who wants nothing but you… I will never believe it. Because all of us get an arousal from being WANTED. (Another hunting break). Here are two more things: she wants him (badly) and he says: later. It makes any woman… guess: starts with an H and rhymes with corny. Not only that: he makes her any possible wish come true: Mercedes Guardian? Here, honey. You don’t want Harvard? How about Dartmouth, I will fill out the applications. A 10-carat diamond shaped like a heart? I have it just for you, dear! Where in the hell is my vampire? I want one too!!! Why is she the lucky one! I don’t care if he rips a motor of my old car – I want him no matter how many people he kills and how much of my blood he sucks! Oh yeah, an important point – the novel is written from the first person so I can fantasize about being with him! Nice touch! And last, but not least: sex sells. Here is the perfect formula for you: there is a boy. there is a girl. They should not love each other because (he is a vampire. She is an alien. Her mom is Sarah Palin, etc. – see how far your fantasy can take you). But they fall in love. LOTS of sexual tension. He is stinking rich, kind, educated, smart, plays piano/bagpipes, wears Armani suits/G-string/loincloth/whatever – and he WANTS you and nothing but you. She is – okay, ideally me, but could be anything – preferably an ordinary girl like me. More sexual tension. Some impossible, horrible problem on the way. He saves her (me). Happy finale. Publish. Make a movie and sell the merchandise. Enjoy life.
P.S. If I had 1,000,000,000,000 dollars (sorry, math was never my strongest point) I would give them all away just for the mere opportunity to meet my Edward/Darcy/Romeo/Robert Pattinson. Sorry, off to the woods again, hunting forever!
Kelly, even though I LOVE your review and your are right on the money on almost everything except for one little thing. Honey, this novel is not about a vampire or a damsel in distress. In fact, how can something so simple be so overcomplicated for you to analyze? Read between the lines. This novel is so popular and will remain so popular due to one thing and one thing alone: SEX. It is about sexual tension. When we read it, we are not thinking: will he eat her (and I mean will he suck her blood here
That is not the question! We know he will not kill her. The question is: when and how will he do her? We know he will, we just do not know when. The whole book reads like a teenage porn. Think about it: 800 something pages of foreplay. He touched her lips, she looked away, he kissed her, then pulled back… Sorry, I cannot write any more – I need to go hunting for some pumas before I can continue, otherwise I will start screaming: “Bite me, Edward!”. By the way, Robert Pattinson is SO HOT – I would not mind… okay, I need more than a couple of pumas. An elephant, perhaps? Anyway, here is the deal: this is an erotic fantasy of a middle-aged woman in writing. He is not abusive. He is every girl’s (or almost every girl) erotic fantasy. And if you have never fantasized about being … by the strong, smart and handsome guy who wants nothing but you… I will never believe it. Because all of us get an arousal from being WANTED. (Another hunting break). Here are two more things: she wants him (badly) and he says: not now, I have a headache. It makes any woman… guess: starts with an H and rhymes with corny. Not only that: he makes her any imaginary or impossible dream come true: Mercedes Guardian? Here, honey. You don’t want Harvard? How about Dartmouth? I will fill out the applications for you. A 10-carat diamond shaped like a heart? I just happen to have one for you, dear! Where in the hell is my vampire? I want one too!!! Why is she the lucky one? I don’t care if he rips a motor from my old car – I want him no matter how many people he kills and how much of my blood he is going to suck! Oh yeah, an important point – the novel is written from the first person’s view so I can fantasize about being with him! Nice touch! And last, but not least: sex sells. Here is the perfect formula for any writer: there is a boy. There is a girl. They should not love each other because (Pick your own reason: he is a vampire. She is an alien. Her mom is Sarah Palin, etc. – see how far your fantasy can take you). But they fall in love. LOTS of sexual tension. He is stinking rich, kind, educated, smart, plays piano/bagpipes, wears Armani suits/G-string/loincloth/whatever – and he WANTS you and nothing but you. She is – okay, ideally me, but could be somebody else – preferably an ordinary girl like me. More sexual tension. Some impossible, horrible problem on the way. He saves her (me). Happy finale. Publish. Make a movie and sell the merchandise. Enjoy life.
P.S. If I had 1,000,000,000,000 dollars (sorry, math was never my strongest point) I would give them all away just for the mere opportunity to meet my Edward/Darcy/Romeo/Robert Pattinson. Sorry, off to the woods again, hunting forever!
It’s fiction. At least people are reading.
I use to think Twilight was an alright series, but soon realized that all the charactes are Mary Sues/Gary Stus. It’s really pitiful when that happenes- I mean can we have some realistic flaws? Some character development? Some plot? It’s not that hard. Twilight is fanfiction. Very bad fanfiction. Lord knows how it managed to get published.
Kellen – Good points well made.
Everyone else – she is expressing her opinion, let her get on with it.
That’s all.
I never read any of the Twilight series to be honest, but I gotta admit that this critique is convincing.
I will never forgive Stephenie Meyer for daring to put the insufferable Bella Swan in the same league as Literature’s most beloved heroines such as Juliet Capulet, Elizabeth Bennet, Anne Shirley and Catherine Earnshaw.
If anybody else noticed, the “sub-plots” in her “books” are always shadows and echoes of the stories surrounding whichever of the above characters are mentioned in them.
I love the dark mystery behind the romance, but Meyer seriously, seriously mishandled it and in effect distorted whatever innocence and purity that could’ve been borne from that.
Oh, and by the way, don’t think the plot of a mind-reader, a vampire and a human girl is so original. Read Charlaine Harris’ 2001 series The Sookie Stackhouse novels. You’ll be surprised.
VB—
It’s not about sex. The author is a “straitlaced” Mormon. Her description, not mine. The supposed erotic tension (which I personally don’t see, perhaps because a) Edward and Bella have no actual chemistry and b) Bella makes frequent references to Edward’s cold marble body and having sex with a piece of stone doesn’t really appeal to me) is accidental.
There are plenty of characters written in first person who have—shocker—actual personalities of their very own. Making a character so one-dimensional that people can paste their own idealised selves over her—which is probably what Meyer was using Bella for in the first place—isn’t a “nice touch”, it’s shitty writing.
The rest of your post is frankly insulting. Thank you so much for making it clear what all of us girls really want! It’s great that you see fit to suggest that every female is as shallow and dim and needy as you’re making yourself out to be! Let’s look at those exchanges the way they really happen in the books. It’s not “Mercedes Guardian? Here, honey”; it’s “You won’t take the car? Fine, I’ll destroy your old one that you love so that you *have* to use this new one that you feel totally uncomfortable with!” It’s not “How about Dartmouth? I’ll fill out the applications for you”; it’s “Since you don’t want to apply to the universities I have chosen for you, I will forge your signature and completely ignore your wishes.” It’s not “I’ve got you a beautiful 10-carat diamond”; it’s “I’ve seen that you have a gift from a boy I’m jealous of and I’m determined to go one better”. This, along with plenty of other examples, is abuse, plain and simple—and if you want a controlling, obsessive stalker for a boyfriend, well, you are most welcome to one, but don’t start insisting that all girls, myself included, want one too.
“TWILIGHT DOES NOT SUCK! IT ROCKS! SUCK THAT!”
- jessice
And you wonder why men don’t respect women…
Don’t get me wrong, not *all* women are stupid [Hillary Clinton, Marie Curie, our dear author, perhaps?] but this is one of those cases where 95% of you screw it up for the rest.
Oh, and twilight is gay. That’s right, gay. It’s been my throwaway insult of choice for fifteen years now and I’m not giving it up just because of gay rights, which I *do* support, but I digress…
The main characters don’t have sex until what, the fourth book?
Super, /super/, Jonas-brothers-gay. Totally unacceptable.
OH MY GOSH U SAID THAT ABOUT TWILIGHT THE HOLIEST OF BOOKS GO TWILIGHT GO TEAM JACOB GO GO GO
Bravo. You’ve done two things remarkably well here: You managed to read the twilight series. (I was about 3/4 of the way through the first book when I decided I just couldn’t take it anymore. I gave up and decided to read something that has a storyline instead.) Second, you’ve written an entertaining and accurate critique, done so well that everyone who comments here in support of twilight would look stupid even if they didn’t use chatspeak.