PSA: Politics, Sports, Anything - A Blast Magazine Blog

The American Dream

November 4, 2008

Realized.

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Election Day Coverage

November 4, 2008

I will be covering the election on and off all day over at Blast Magazine Proper.

Check it out.

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Monday Reading, Comedy Edition

October 27, 2008

NYC Real-Estate Developer Offers ‘Obama Contingency’

Holy election tie-in: Erik Ekstein, who’s developing +aRT, an 88-unit Chelsea condo that just began sales last week, says he’s including an “Obama Contingency Clause” in all contracts that go into effect between now and Election Day. If Obama wins, the contract goes through, but if John McCain prevails, buyers can back out — and presumably move to Canada — “with no questions asked.” (He says he came up with the idea after talking to potential buyers, who seemed to be holding off until the election.) Ekstein, a big supporter of the Democratic candidate, says he’s not worried he’ll lose business. “It’s a very narrow window, and we’re fairly confident he’ll win,” he says.

Like, Socialism from the New Yorker

The whole article is worth the read, but this Sarah Palin comment from a while back has to be put high on the list of her Top 50 Funniest Contradictions:

We’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.

Also, one has to wonder, back in 2001, when John McCain himself wanted the highest tax bracket to stay at 39.6% (just like Barack Obama), whether he considered himself a socialist or just a rational human being?

John McCain’s Brother Calls 911 Because He Got Stuck In Traffic

No comments necessary, just read the brief transcript. You can’t make this stuff up.

Operator: 911 state your emergency

Caller: It’s not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic’s coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

Caller: “Fuck you.” (caller hangs up)

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Priceless

October 23, 2008

http://img129.imageshack.us/my.php?image=pricelesslr8.jpg

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The Undecided Voter

October 22, 2008

How, after 20 months of non-stop coverage of the presidential campaigns, can anyone possibly be undecided, you ask? Well the New Yorker’s David Sedaris tries to dissect their mindset:

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

The Daily Show holds a debate night undecided voter focus group and the correspondents get a little frustrated:

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The Final I.Q. Test

October 20, 2008

While it is generally deplorable that John McCain’s campaign is sending out hundreds of thousands of sleazy robocalls essentially insinuating that Barack Obama is a terrorist, McCain also may be doing the country a service. We finally have the definitive test of whether our country has the intelligence to survive as a superpower for the next century.

And that test is this: Will the People of the United States, in the most important election of their lifetime, have their decision swayed by a fucking robot?

Only time will tell.

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Eloquence, Personified

October 19, 2008

Here is Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama on Meet the Press this morning:

And here he is at a press conference after, expanding on his decision:

(via TPM)

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Not a bad weekend for Obama

October 19, 2008

100,000 People Hear Obama Speak in St. Louis; 75,000 in Kansas City

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Democrat Barack Obama turned out enormous crowds at his two stops in battleground Missouri on Saturday in what campaign aides said was a strategy of using his ability to command huge crowds as a way to build excitement heading into the final two weeks of the presidential campaign.

An estimated 100,000 people showed up in St. Louis Saturday morning to hear Obama speak at the Gateway Arch — the largest crowd ever to hear Obama in the United States.

Saturday evening, a crowd estimated at more than 75,000 thronged the Liberty Memorial near downtown Kansas City for an Obama rally.

Obama Shatters Fundraising Records by Raising $150 Million in September

The Obama campaign announced this morning that it had raised a record $150 million last month, and had added 632,000 new donors to its total.

The amount shattered the campaign’s previous record from August. The McCain campaign also had a record-breaking month in August, but is now operating with the $84 million provided by public financing for the general cycle and assistance from the Republican National Committee under certain limits.

In announcing the Obama figure, David Plouffe, the campaign manager, said the average donation for September was less than $100. Mr. Obama, however, did hold several mega fund-raisers in September that pumped millions of dollars each into his coffers, including a Barbra Streisand-Hollywood event that alone collected a reported $11 million.

And perhaps most importantly:

General Colin Powell Endorses Obama

WASHINGTON — Retired General Colin Powell, President Bush’s former secretary of state and an influential Republican, endorsed Barack Obama today, a major political move which boosts Obama’s credentials as a potential commander-in-chief and could influence moderate Republicans and independent voters — two constituencies John McCain, Obama’s GOP rival, is depending on to stay competitive with Obama in crucial swing states.

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Saturday Reading, Comedy Edition

October 18, 2008

Lahde Quits Hedge Funds, Thanks `Idiots’ for Success

The whole article is worth reading, but here are some highlights:

Oct. 17 (Bloomberg) — Andrew Lahde, the hedge-fund manager who quit after posting an 870 percent gain last year, said farewell to clients in a letter that thanks stupid traders for making him rich and ends with a plea to legalize marijuana.

“I was in this game for money,” Lahde, 37, wrote in a two-page letter today in which he said he had come to hate the hedge-fund business. “The low-hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government.

“I do not understand the legacy thing,” he wrote. “Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.”

Lahde ended his letter with a plea for the increased use of hemp as an alternative source of food and energy that segued into a call for the legalization of marijuana.

“Hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products,” he wrote. “Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term.”

He added, “The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country.”

Lahde said the only reason marijuana remains illegal is because “Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other addictive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers.”

Even Racists Are Voting for Obama

Not only does this article include a quote from Jack Kerouac’ On The Road, but it’s packed full of exchanges like this:

So a canvasser goes to a woman’s door in Washington, Pennsylvania. Knocks. Woman answers. Knocker asks who she’s planning to vote for. She isn’t sure, has to ask her husband who she’s voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, “We’re votin’ for the n***er!”

Woman turns back to canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly: “We’re voting for the n***er.”

Congresswoman Proposes new McCarthy Hearings for Members of Congress

I’ll be able to enjoy this a lot more in three weeks when Barack Obama is President and the Democrats have a super majority in Congress, but still, this lady has been so comically outragous when she gets on TV, I’m pretty sure she just does this kind of stuff for laughs. Sadly, she’ll probably lose her seat in Congress on election day now because she’s can’t stop saying things that are bat shit crazy, so we might as well enjoy her while she lasts. Follow the link for the video.

Oh, and this lady was named one of “The 10 Worst Members of Congress” by Esquire before she said this.

In a television appearance that outraged Democrats are already describing as Joseph McCarthy politics, Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann claimed on Friday that Barack Obama and his wife Michelle held anti-American views and couldn’t be trusted in the White House. She even called for the major newspapers of the country to investigate other members of Congress to “find out if they are pro-America or anti-America.”

The Rationality Project, Esquire Magazine

You’ll have to buy the magazine to read the whole superbly written article, but here is an excerpt. Author A.J. Jacobs tries to eliminate the “System 1,” instinctive, emotional side of his brain in favor of pure rationality. He stumbles along the way and his experiment ends with this exchange with his wife:

I realize Project Rationality is my attempt to live completely under System 2 and override the unstable lizard brain that is System 1.

This is disorienting to other people. Humans crave melodrama. My wife got upset with me today for not getting upset enough. I had done something dumb. I’d left our son’s stroller in the back of a cab. it was a cheapo stroller, but still.

“Well, that was a mistake,” I said when we realized it. “I will try not to do that again.” (I do notice I’m using fewer contractions. Getting too into this Spock character?)

“That’s it?” she asked.

“What do you want? You want theatrics?”

“I want you to say something like, “Oh no, that’s terrible. I can’t believe I did that. I feel horrible.”

I explained that I didn’t feel that way. I felt annoyed at myself, and I vowed to try not to do it again. But I will probably forget other things in the future, so she should be prepared. In either case, throwing a hissy fit wouldn’t get the stroller back nor help reform my behavior; it’d just create negative emotions. Plus, we overestimate the value of things we own–it’s called the Endowment Effect.

My wife said our son needs to understand the value of objects.

I paused. “Point taken,” I said. Our son is still a System 1 creature. “Next time I will put on a show for our son.”

My wife stomped out.